Few things are as difficult as learning that you have cancer. The word itself casts a chilling shadow, as does the knowledge of the side effects and complications from treatment.

Much like the impact of breast cancer, the psychological effects of prostate cancer are deeply troubling to the sufferer. Prostate cancer touches a very sensitive place in the male psyche. For one thing, a man’s physical integrity is threatened by the risk of erectile dysfunction and urinary incontinence brought about by treatment. But even more profoundly, the disease trou­bles a man’s very perception of himself, his body, his sexuality and his intimate relationships.

For a younger man – A man of 82 who develops prostate cancer does not go through the same thing as a man of 49 who is still sexually virile and able to reproduce. Not only does the latter fear dying young, he also worries about losing his sexual powers. He might feel that “it’s all over,” that he is “no longer a man” and that his partner will abandon him. Most men in this age bracket are ready to do anything to cure the disease and will undergo the most aggressive treatment available.

For an older man – Older men tend to react differently. Generally less sexually active, these men may find it a little easier to accept having their prostate removed or losing the ability to achieve erections. On the other hand, they may have more trouble dealing with treat­ment side effects like urinary incontinence and be less willing to spend a great deal of time in hospital. They might therefore choose to undergo treatments with “milder” side effects.

The person hearing this terrifying news knows that life will never be the same, and emotions can range from denial to anger, despair to hope, and courage to fear, for both the patient and his or her loved ones. All of this is completely normal.

What you can feelr

People who have cancer often experience a high level of stress that they may find difficult to deal with. There are so many unknown factors and so many questions to ask. What effects will the treatments have on me? Am I going to get better? Etc.

When you learn you have cancer

When you’re told you have cancer, it’s natural to react in one of these ways:

• experiencing a sense of “shock”
• not believing the diagnosis, especially if you haven’t had any symptoms
• feeling angry or feeling that the situation is so unfair
• having no reaction or just a mild reaction for a while

Many men also:

• feel they’ve lost control of their lives
• are afraid their body and self-image will change
• feel powerless, sad, guilty
• have a sense of lost masculinity
• worry about their family, work or financial situation
• worry about their relationship, their quality of life, their sexual life

These reactions reveal what you’re feeling inside. Pay close attention to your reactions. They will show you how you need to take care of yourself, reach out to your support system and find a new life balance.

Stages sometimes harder to overcome

Certain stages can be especially difficult:

• waiting for medical tests
• receiving test results
• discussing treatment options
• experiencing side effects
• finishing your treatment and resuming an active life
• coping with a reccurence
• accepting the end of life

Important – In case intrusive thoughts of death become overwhelming or thoughts of suicide occur, seek help promptly or go to the emergency room of a hospital.

Who can help

It is well known that men are less likely than women to consult a specialist for a psychological problem. They are more modest, more withdrawn, and some feel that meeting a specialist undermines their masculinity. And this doesn’t really change with age.

Not all men with prostate cancer will need the intervention of a professional. About 55% to 60% of patients manage without it. As for others, even if they find it difficult and embarrassing, they should not hesitate to pick up the phone to make an appointment. This can have a beneficial effect on their quality of life, during and after treatment.

You can benefit from the support of several professionals at the same time or successively during your medical journey. To learn about their support role, consult our Depression and Anxiety page here.

• The psychiatrist
• The psychologist
• The sexologist
• The social worker
• Spiritual advisor
• Volunteer