Timeline – April 2016

My Dream

After three marathons, numerous half-marathons, and nearly four months of training running between 80 and 100 kilometers per week, here I am at the start of the Boston Marathon. My dream, my own Olympics!

However, not everything goes as planned. At the 13th kilometer, pain appears in the upper left thigh. No matter! I am determined not to abandon my dream. But as the kilometers pass, the pain intensifies.

With determination, I complete the 42.2 kilometers. I cross the finish line with tears in my eyes… yes, due to the intense pain but MOSTLY because I am savoring my personal victory, my accomplishment. I am carried by the frenetic atmosphere in Boston. Finally! The expression “from dream to reality” takes on its full meaning. Two weeks after my return, the pain persists to the point where I have difficulty walking at times. I consult a sports doctor to try to understand the reason for this pain. Being as puzzled as I am, he asks me to get an MRI.

June 8, 2016

Everything Crumbles

On a gray and rainy day, he calls me into his office a few days later. He tells me he doesn’t understand how I managed to finish the marathon and that I am his hero. I can see he is uncomfortable and keeps “beating around the bush.” Fearing the worst, I ask him if he’s trying to tell me I have cancer. His response shocks me: “Yes, and it’s not good. Is your will done?” Ouch! A blow to the heart. In fact, he informs me that I have prostate cancer with bone metastases. The pain I felt during the marathon was actually a fracture in the upper femur due to a metastasis that had cracked. My world collapses, and my head starts spinning at 100 miles per hour. Everything seems unreal. And yet! I realize that my life has just turned upside down. Instinctively, I ask him not to give me a prognosis but rather to tell me what I need to do to face this new “tenant” within me.

My partner, thinking I’m taking too long at the doctor’s, calls me on my cell phone asking if everything is okay. Although I answer affirmatively, she’s not fooled. At that moment, the doctor and I ask her to join us at the clinic and inform her of the diagnosis. It’s a shock. Time both stops and speeds up simultaneously. Now it’s her turn to see her world crumble. The return home is painful and requires a superhuman effort. Our two children! What to say? How to act? We can’t tell them the bad news today since tomorrow is their 10th birthday (a twin boy and girl). We don’t want to ruin THEIR day! The only alternative is to pretend… but with our heads in a fog. That night, my partner and I continue to cry and imagine the worst scenarios. It is at this precise moment that I begin to dread the nights.

June 9, 2016

A Strange Celebration

Ten years ago today, I became a father for the 4th and 5th time. Ten years later, my reality is very different. I am struggling to stay alive. In the morning, I quickly meet with a urologist. From that moment on, everything kicks into high gear medically: start of hormone therapy, blood tests, biopsy… I learn that my PSA is 610 while normal levels are below 4. It seems there is no time to waste. From this point on, the only word that keeps spinning in my head is “cancer.”

A series of challenges then presents itself to me. First, telling this news to my 5 children (31, 27, 25, and two 10-year-olds). For this announcement, my partner and I decide to meet with them one by one. This way, we feel we are more available to them and allow each one to express their emotions more easily. This approach seems to be appreciated by all. The announcement then continues with my extended family members. But each time, I still experience the same discomfort, creating worry for others and thus altering the well-being in which everyone lives.

Since 2016

Other challenges include adjusting my life and my family’s to the rhythm of the treatments, facing my fear of injections, and staying positive. I experience this daily with ups and downs in my morale. At first, I was more pessimistic and found this ordeal difficult to endure. Over time and with the treatments I responded to positively, fear diminished and positivity gradually returned. An element that I believe has greatly contributed to facing this new challenge daily is staying active. Training has always been part of my life, and I didn’t want that to stop. Walking, jogging, road biking, and alpine skiing help me feel alive. In fact, I aim to maintain a lifestyle as close to normal as possible. And my body appreciates it. Honestly, even with all the treatments I have received and continue to receive, I am certain that continuing my workouts helps prevent the pain from taking over.

Summer 2020

Facing this challenge, I have been doing so from the first day with the support of my partner, my children, my extended family, and my friends. Each of them has a direct and crucial influence on my morale and joy of living. Nothing is more important than living in the moment and enjoying life. It was my primary nurse from Granby who mentioned PROCURE to me as a reference place for men with prostate cancer.

I place a lot of hope in cancer research. Perhaps it is selfish of me, but my participation in the PROCURE Tour du Courage represents a great opportunity for me to raise funds and help advance science. Thus, doing sports and contributing to a cause that may help extend my life and that of other men in similar situations represents my motivation.

In closing, I humbly address men living with prostate cancer. I believe that enjoying life each day without projecting too far into the future is one way to face or even live with this new “tenant” while waiting for the next treatment! Be active in your own way and do what you love! Surround yourself with positive people! And even if it may sound cliché, trust life! It’s not always easy, but life is beautiful. Listen to it!